compliment

where is the bright sun?
where is the wind i used to feel?

where are the heights?
where is the thrill?

am i in a shell, or has the world changed?

or was i flying, and now i'm on ground?

the sun's still shining, and the wind's still blowing
but they aren't for me, i'm not in the air anymore

this shade is a bit too dark, a bit too cold
but the sky's waiting.. i shall take off again

the sun is waiting for me, so is the wind
i belong to the sky, and the sky too is mine


Copyright © Neerja Yadav

sun, rain and frozen moments

the downpour hid the sleeping sun
a few hours ago,
I heard the raindrops rustle through the trees outside,
Solitude at my core
And the scent of the sky
frothing my senses

I love.
Alone, I still love,

the sunshine takes a peek
slowly and shyily
hiding the clouds to tease the Winter
It's a beautifully quiet evening,
one of the kind that happens so rarely
the wind and the rain,
sings life in my soul

dampness swirling with all its might
dispelled by the sunlight
all without a fight
slowly they meet
they smile
they love

ah, now i can see the fleeting twilight dancing
life wafted in a timeless mist
together we weave beautiful dreams



Copyright © Neerja Yadav

darkness

standing alone
quiet and planitive
there she was
enveloped in silence and sounds of cricket

two best friends fought today
one just walked away
not a footstep on the time
neither a breath in space
just a pearl drop,
if you looked hard...

sitting in a corner
quiet and planitive
and looking she was,
gaze fixed
but the pearl wasnt there

the one who walked away
alone could illumine it
but two friends fought today....

douse the evening lights
want to talk to her
long in the nights

quiet and planitive
the mist fogged the darkness


Copyright © Neerja Yadav

who am i?

I oughtn't to be made to do things against my wishes.
Its a violation of my spiritual integrity.

I oughtnt to be made to work without passion.
Its a non consummation of my mental sensuality.

I oughtnt to be made to spend my life at the stake.
Its an insinuation at my immortality.

I am but a co-existent duality.


Copyright © Neerja Yadav

wonder world



fly away, on the wings of the winds
known destination,
unknown roads

evenings are as tranquil as mornings
mornings as sensual as evenings

perhaps, there are skies beyond this one
perhaps, the clouds are brighter
perhaps, the sun is cooler and the shadows warmer

the heavens around this earth is a different one, perhaps


Copyright © Neerja Yadav

dry, misty and some words


The mist forms a silhouette
The silhouette smiles
That couldn’t be you
I float a bit, bit of a row,
But the boats stuck
The raft topples
The pool whirls
The eddy is in frenzy
I stop, smile,….confuse
Blink, gap,….freeze

Loosing my step
And didn’t yet come
So am at your hearth
Tired and euphoric
Fast pulses, slow steps

Drowned in the soul
…..it’s no more dry in this land
…..its no more wet,
its all nomadic, no more habitat
the fire inside,… no smoke
no light, …
dreams to ashes

with or without you
no desires, no hopes,
the eons of longing
no more thirst

the rising sun
the rising world
the sinking me!
Copyright © Neerja Yadav

worth

i am sick of this world
and the people in it
i'm sick of this body
let me out of it
just let me take my soul
and let me go
untouchable it is called
but i wonder if it has been really so
theres nothing in this world
that appears worthy, even remotely,
everything around me is just
stupid, meaningless and silly
then theres a pair of eyes
that looks at me and smiles
all the turmoil thats inside
lay bare in front of those eyes
i feel ashamed of the waywardness
relieved of the confusion
theres this unworthy world to live in
but theres you for a wonderful life to live with


"jus something i think is worth putting up", thank you?? or so much more,.....?

su pasion


"Feel like, I have been lost
Inside my head, inside my mind,…"

Pain transmutes into a song,
Pulse forms a rhythm,
Dance with abandon,
Soul inked with liquid fire,
An Absolute,…

"one sharp image, rest of the universe - glossy…"

The elation, the exhilaration
The un-understandable,
The indefinable,…
The un-attainable…
The flow of ethereal
Here Sin meets Somber
Heaven blends into Hell...


Copyright © Neerja Yadav

life lines

Act 1

The walks and those talks
Those miles dotted with smiles
Coy, Shy ... Contained
A look ...you miss a beat…Quicksilver Heat
Flickers of Desire
Like moths into the Fire......
cool breeze, cool waves,Smooth white sails
Tranquil Evenings, calm Musings.

Act 2

flashy bikes, solitary lanes long rides ....
geared in overdrive
miles zoom past, adrenalin rushes fast
the wick matures into a flame
moths dies a million... voluble winds,
roll over frenzied waves,Air Over Water,
... a quick kiss
a hasty touch ...and the waves go into a spin.
Madness ... utter Madness,you soar high, high and ... higher
the ballet ... (or is it battle?) ...Air Over Water,
Water In Air
Performance Perfect.
The effect?FIRE!!!
absolute, pure, unadorned raw FIRE!
Nature's applause ...Tranquil evenings solemnly, happily...
steadily unfold the Euphoric
Slow, Dazed Nights ... !

Act 3

the fire engulfs the space...
and hey, it evokes Fear ... of the unknown ... unbeaten ...
And safety is dear,so, mild you play
and run far away,leave the imprints....footprints
want them to fade,lock it up ... forget about It! ... (the Fire!)
well ... do give it a shot ... to forget!
Dreams … (the fire) are foolish, dangerous, they said
and you didn't agree ...you played, you ignited ...
and were still not running for safety,adventure
... the drive ...not ready to conform with them … still there.
Waves lapped, liquid fire invaded your veins ...
and you were, both shaken and stirred
... invited to take it all … give it all
...Invitation of Fire,
End of Existence …
Invitation Denied ...
Existence hugged tight....
and you run and run and
run ...
Dead Pond, Stale Air ...
"Tranquility"You must be kiddin', right?
and then you muse,

"Some Goals Are So Worthy,It's Glorious even To Fail ..."

Copyright © Neerja Yadav

epilogue

empty out these sleepy eyes
...the heavy lids that droop
the thick lashes that loop,
the liquid that’s full


empty out these sleepy eyes,
unslept these never-ending nights
not a wink,

the climate wrapped on snow melts,
empty out the whiteness

sleepless one-posture nights
empty out the senses
empty out the numbness

climb down those desolate mountains
float through those fogged valleys,
empty out these sleepy eyes,

the dying fires in the wet woods
empty out the warmth
the broken pearls
empty out the beauty

crawling through the memories
nor a shadow at the feet
neither a rain check over the head
empty out the loneliness

the pull and you run
the invisible thread

empty out the bond ...
the sudden rush of air
the cool seeping through the lungs
empty out the vessel,
empty out the breath

"One Last Breath!"


Copyright © Neerja Yadav

conversations with self

After a hard day’s work or long hours of mundane chores, you sit down with certain intentions and then the moment you begin to begin, something clicks and you just don’t know what is that you wish to do? Write a few lines? Sketch something or just listen to some good old favorite number? What is that you intended to entertain yourself with? What is that gives you that peace of senses which is only available with the kind of things you do with passion? No, nothing which you can think of means and looks worth. It feels exactly like your first time on stage, with all the rehearsals and hours gone into the act, when you are finally there in the arc lights, it seems your mind and senses are blank and this isn’t really that important like it seemed while you were praying to get the roles and then preparing of them. Doesn’t life has the same feel? Every time you look into the mirror, the lines on your face seem clearer and there is another face which just watches you watching yourself from that normally un chartered backwaters of your mind. The past has just gone. Went by like dusk to dawn. That’s the way, it is and everybody just has to pay their dues. And, one fine day you realize that there was more to life than the entire mad race, you let yourself fall into. You live and learn and vice versa.

“Another day has passed me by, and there's an island in the sun, To see me through another day in paradise, But there's no reason, there's no rhyme, Here comes the night, Here comes the dreaming, Breathing that eternal love (if that’s the word) in me, Here comes the feeling that I've been waiting here for so long, I've been waiting here for so long. I'm caught in a dream; sometimes it ain't what it seems. I'm all in a daze, can't fight my way out of this maze. I'm looking for clues, and wanting a change in the rules. I'm locked in a cage, acting out on the wrong stage……….”, thats how it feels at times. Almost like, was meant to be somewhere else, another age, another planet or maybe not at all. Ah, did I mention I was quirky? (They say) So tell me, are you afraid, or tranquil with the situation on hand? Might you know how conscious consciousness could grow, Till love that was, and love too blest to be, meet—and the junction be Eternity? Have you reckoned a thousand acres much? Have you reckoned the earth much?Have you practiced so long to learn to read? Have you felt so proud to get at the meaning of poems? Time shall tell and then another river would be back to square one and do you think that would be an evolution, growing up, not in terms of age or the practical maturity but growing towards the sun that is and that was? The first impressions are always feelings, not judgments, judgments would be something you would arrive on, after lotsa analysis which we always tend to do after so many years of hard practical life in the hard winds of world, but feelings are always those feelings which just are no apparent reason, though if seen carefully there would always be some pattern of our personality woven into those and what we really need is to read and capture the exactness of "that" particular feeling, at "that" particular time. That for me is first impression and believe me, it is right, always, if it does gets wrong, it goes on to mean, you misread it, the first time, and analysis is what counts, there, ‘cause it is the power and ability to analyze with detachment without being critical, that makes you conversant with the language the feelings speak in, and then you wouldn’t be wrong in reading them. Detachment of course, is difficult, very difficult especially at times like this when you just get at-home with some things right at the first time. Oops, I tend to get into the mode of philosophizing everything!! Does ageing have anything to do with the maturity and the understanding? I believe not. There are water bodies and there are water bodies. Some are shallow lakes and some deep oceans. Their being old and new has nothing to do with their depth, currents and salinity? Does it? Of course, communion does take into account some practical and social considerations. And then again they are to be thought of depending on the kind of relationship and interaction one is getting oneself into. Not all rivers can reach all oceans directly and be equal. Neither all oceans can reach all shores.

sleepless sleep

long winter nights,
lost shuddering moon,
no sleep...
hey, are You asleep?
cool breeze, the harmonic waves...
the bloomin’ night lily,...
'am I being silly?
the stars on a ride, blackness so wide
the euphoria of the air, takes me there
tipsy without a drop, think you can stop?
high...slightly higher
a step too near
a look, and all that it took
float...fly and a bit more high
caught in the moonlight
sieving through little shivering green,
taking away the sheen
miss a beat
how does it feel to have a cold heat??
hey, are you asleep?
can I take this leap?
and a step? a jump,a few more leaps,
...take me please, I am yours for keeps!!

Copyright © Neerja Yadav