contained chaos

Two perfect strangers.


He came little close (too close?): “in dark you can’t see properly…”; and this darkness-filtered-by-lights-from-the-street, was really his idea; in the first place.


Not that I minded, being there. Me, the if-ever-lights-are-out-and-i-scream, did not mind it!!! Was quite comfortable.. uh huh.. actually far from comfortable… sweaty palms, shaking shivering frame. I could seriously hear my throbbing heart, inside my brains. Brains? Was I even thinking?

He took another tentative step, a very small step, “you are shrinking”. Shrinking? I could just wrap into a little bundle right here.

I did not dare look up into his eyes. His eyes!


Since,I first met him, I have been extremely aware of his eyes. Not many a brown pairs have managed to look straight inside. The way they manage to laser in through all those walls and cobwebs on them.

And, I don’t mean, those locking of looks which one gets into, while high on adrenaline, there in “the moment”. That, I know, happens to all of us. Has had happened to me. Eyes’, brimming with love and passion, when one is in love and in those moments!! That’s bliss!

But, this?? This was… lemme look for a befitting description…



Umm, while the background process of “now” functioning brains go looking for the description.

In the meanwhile, unbeknownst to my frazzled senses, “his royal highness”…

(why? Well, the guy walked and talked and behaved like he ruled one and all and none, but that isn’t a surprise, we could easily put that as “chauvinism”, but no, this wasn’t just plain male egoism, this was gentleman arrogance, dignity and royalty all rolled into one. But the surprise really is that for once, me the ardent freedom freak, me the confident devil-may-care-wild-child was not only so goddamned conscious of him… I actually flustered and at times found myself just quiet and looking for words… and not even looking for them; somehow, being in quiet company was just enough)

…was co close that his warm deep breath was flirting with my truant strands of hair, playing softly on my cheeks. Shrinking? Is that what he said? I could just curl up like a flower right here.


Not a touch… not a word anymore… all I did was look up into those eyes. Clearly a mistake!


*exhilaration*,*fire*,*waves*,*craze*,*complete blur*
The air around---
Those few moments---
Those eyes---
--- Raw unadulterated energy.



The moment passed like all moments do,
like, I knew it would.


Why then did I catch a lone drop on my cheeks?
Why did I pacakge the whirlwind inside in a small little smile?


Copyright © Neerja Yadav

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