Silence! What does it mean? While it accentuates the curves of speech, sometimes serves as its worthy enemy! The silence I talk of is not the absence of things to say. But the one, which is so much a part of you… that you don’t realize it exists… until the day, it just wakes up, stirs in that obscure corner, where it was lying mute and watchful, all this while… and this little rouse, hits you like a slap!
It does not hold meaning, for, all those times, it was being trampled on… ignored, it grew into realms of “beyond-meaning” and now, when you suddenly see its presence… and now when you wish it would talk to you… let it out, give it the substance, you think, it deserves… another hit… it IS so potent, its gone beyond grasp…of words.
It could have been invited in that corner as a post update of absolutely anything…
Something, which when crashed, was so enormous, that your “self” did not possess the temerity to attempt an understanding… and so, there it was! Ready to hold you and ensconce you, in safety!
And, while it was busy building those rain checks… you slipped out into the sunshine from the backdoor… leaving it all by itself.
And, that’s why… now…
It needs coaxing, constant pampering… slow salve to the sentient… with a random poetry, an abstract wit, an outburst, a song….a constant humming… and then one fine day… it would decide to give the words, the speech, a chance at an affair with itself… of course, the guard is still on… and not all is revealed… it’s a continuing exploration… an ongoing discovery… at least the start is made.
And, some day a memoir would be born!
For now, am enjoying the torrid affair. Of my silence and my speeches!
Copyright © Neerja Yadav