A new girl in the group, introduced to everyone, after a round of “hellos”; it would invariably be that, one of them would seem a little more interested in the girl.
And, there is a whole library on the “opening”/”pickup” lines… and the oldest in there is picked up…
“you like coffee?”,( and this is in a pub/bar)
“yea.. well…” (dude, this is a bar… and well, that’s not novel anymore)
“ wanna meet up for coffee later??”
“umm… later? We’ll see… thanks!”
This (being a way of saying, “thanks, no thanks!”) should have been a polite but effective deterrent. But, Ladies and Gentlemen, we are human beings and we come in all shapes/sizes/mindsets/values/… and worth mentioning personal rules for the game…so, my polite no, might be your “she-is-asking-for-more-asking-and-attention” rule…
Time to take farewells…
“hey guys, nice meeting you…see ya around, bye”
“umm.. .i would walk you down”
And since you want to get away, quickly, because:
-the DJ is not what you like
-the crowd is not what you prefer
-the drinks are lousy
-you just wanna get back home
You neither say yes or no to that… so you hurry down to your car…
“hey, you didn’t say anything about the coffee…”
“oh, that?... ya, we’ll see…”
“but you don’t even have my number…”
“oh that’s cool… good night!”
Ah… riddance! And, let’s just be very clear here that, its got nothing to do with the guy being un smart, not a looker, or any of those metrics values… You are just not interested. Simple. How difficult is it to take the cue? Understand?
But, you know what, making the top of the list in “ironies of human societal setup” is:
If it’s Simple and Straight, its not right! It HAS to have a hidden agenda! Its not possible to be that plain, there has to be a cunning, a game plan, a motive!!
Preposterous! Hilarious! Or maybe not, as we need to stop and take the long overdue look at this mindset. Why do we fear/not believe, if something “threatens” to be plain and basic? Why are we looking for complexities? Why are we always on the watch out? Because, we have been conditioned so. Because, we have been taught and we have witnessed, the manipulations, the lies, the cheatings, the one-upmanship play and also the unglamorous, no shine on being simple. So, the race of being snazzy and complex. It’s a fad, Ladies and Gentlemen.
And, there could be another library on this entire subject, discussions, debates…
Nonetheless, the story, hitherto…
calls (through the common friend), SMSes, invites to various outings and so on…
all turned down… no time, darlings!
And it turns out, that some two weeks later, after dodging the umpteen attempts to get in touch and have a go at having a fling, I find myself at a friend’s place… cooking in the same kitchen!!
“OOooo!!” the cry goes, “that’s meant to be! its destined!” … and all those expressions that flow profusely at things like this… ah anyways, so I escape, unclaimed, unmatched and un harmed!
Umm, do I have issues with relationships/flings/”friendships”?? or am I “still undercover” … umm… gay???
in me goes … HUH?? Garfield
But Me, takes it with a flick of hair and no raised eyebrows;
No, sweetheart, am not interested! Would that be so difficult to understand? And, am not turning YOU down… and am not being standoffish, because I do not believe in offensives…unless, absolutely required!
And, this still is taken according to the “personal rules” : maybe she is needs extra attention.
Once again, after about another three weeks of repetitive steps of the game (the one which I am not even interested in watching… let alone play)… we “bump” into each other…and the very first opportunity finds me, subjected to:
my virtues, and how I am soo different and better than all the other girls, and how I am just perfect…and how these meetings are so very destiny’s design… and if I ever want to relocate to “the place where he earns his living”… etc etc…
Have I ever been flattered so much, any time before? And have I ever had the good fortune to be liked by someone so much?
Oh, lots of times!! Infact, every single time, this happens!!! So, why dont i ever be enamoured? charmed? Is there something wrong with me? Nothing. And, am sure, there are hordes of us (gender irrespective), who know, what I am saying!
And it went on for sometime… and the last I heard was, the man, in question is back from the airport, from where, he was headed to his place of business
A few pointed reflections:
Why? Why, just because the chasing game is the standard rule, everyone should be playing it and by it? Even when, am out of the race/game?
These are, as far as I understand, are accessories of growing up. An extra/co curricular activities of high school and college campus. So, how come, “so called” worldly wise individuals still hang to these accessories? For, I believe, that it always takes TWO to get a spark!!
And, why do we HAVE to let known our “engaged” status to keep such perseverance at bay? I mean, why cant you not be attached and not be gay and still not be interested in someone?
Copyright © Neerja Yadav