died las nyt @ w3 dot com

what happens, when one fine day... you decide to die?

and with a flick of few switches, a click of few options... there you are, dead!!

thought it would be scary?? trust me, it was... a little! BUT, then the exhilaration of freedom... freedom from being wired, freedom from a compulsion of an obligation... obligation to keep on - keeping on

no white light or nirvana here... just your regular day... everythings same, the status quo maintained... a re-iteration of the fact that one as an individual is quite so inconsequential except to the self... umm, maybe!

a tinge of nostalgia, which the seasons would take care of.. decades of "important" data from official and loved ones... all gone, destroyed in one go, in cold blood ... freeing up some more hard drive somewhere... email ids, IMs, social networking presence... all poof!

all that remains is this space, in some kind of suspended annihilation... but the process has begun, my friend... how long the suspension lasts? would there be new planets to begin afresh? or is this a march towards the end, finally? who knows... for now, its a cliched who cares too...

maybe its not my time go... yet... will "die (completely) just another day", for now...

Ash to ash
Dust to dust
Fade to black...
But the memory remains...

am lulled to sleep with Marianne Faithfull's distant lilt...

p.s: i possibly didn't want to.... but then what you need is incongruent quite sometimes with what you want!

Copyright © Neerja Yadav


The ringing silence
And the plain walls

All in a sudden conspiracy
Strangling the last ounce of reason

Panic rising

Claustrophobia… clouds the breath
And the being, too

The emptiness outside
Is more than home inside

closed my mind
closed myself
turned blind
too much light
and then nothing

falling apart
exploding further

notes from song... distant
two eyes.... cold and silent

empty nights
hollow days

chased a rain cloud
and then a sunbeam
fly through the sky
for ever more...
now with
sobless and tearless cry

you leave me
on this evening
dusk shadows blend...
wishes on eyelashes... now i lend

just be brave
and this too shall pass!

Copyright © Neerja Yadav