kiss & tell

The city and me have a relationship, its called “maintaining-a-respectable-distance”! We do not like each other, that could be an understatement when I am in one of my foulest moods and calling it all the names, an ex-finishing-school alumnus is allowed to, and it seems, even when we are conducting ourselves as mature adults… there’s this strong undercurrents … I have no option but to stay on and the city really isn’t too vocal about having me thrown out! So, here I am … led in the spot by a well-orchestered plans and yes, the plans were all mine… it IS true, a Woman indeed IS the choreographer of her own dances. What and where you choose to dance can definitely be driven by circumstances… so, there you go… we also come with some shackles. Ah, the irony of being human! (Oh, by the by this sentence reminds me of Tom Holt… brilliant, I say… if you like that sort of stuff)

I like so many of my kinds (and I haven’t yet figured out, what that is) have this strong thing for vibes and stuff.

There’s no love lost between me and the city I grew up in … its like an attempted affair, something which you would try as fitting into the group in your teenage! No passion, almost lukewarm… but has its moments… and unforgettable ones at that. And, while taking those walks down the “Champs Élysées” of memory … you would like to wave a smile at them.

And, of all the cities of the world (the parts which I have had good fortune to be acquainted with) … I like Singapore the best … a big burly & goofy brother … you feel safe, you can fool around to your heart’s content, … you can shop, hog on cuisines, stay up late, go for the dances, do things … and in general just have unlimited fun … as long as you are good with your “school work” and be a good girl… for goofy he might be… but is quite strict with code of conduct!

Bali is like one night royal affair!

New Jersey is a distant rich uncle!

Los Angeles? Ah, well

Rangoon is a loving old aunt … full of stories and home-made delicacies.

Mumbai is a FRIEND, totally! School friend – now cool, now vile… but does not hurt on purpose. New York is a rich friend, who unwittingly can end up patronizing with all that jazz.

London undoubtedly is a snob ageing aunt … who tries her best to pretend being cool!

South Beach, Miami is a short-lived relaxed fling you had, while on vacation… unforgettable!

Denver City is your boss … albeit a good one! Amsterdam HAS to be the handsome stranger, who outrageously flirted you with all the charm of a red-blooded Mills&Boons Hero… and yep, you did flirt back (in case you were wondering!)

But, the love of life is the city where I did all my “growing” up … Spent last decade, transformed from a unsure-small town teenager to whatever I am today … owe that to the support – unquestioning, admonishing at stupid mistakes, picks me up, dusts off and hands a cup of coffee … also, turns to for advices!! Lets you make mistakes and accepts as you are!

This ones a Home! And, am terribly home-sick right now!

closest online representation of me!!! surprised to find this!!
... well almost, replace the brit face with a mix of japanese-indian face

photo courtesy: glamour uk

bohemia is my salvation - but a luxury i cant afford


a very happy birthday, love!


winter on this latitude

Thirst all it is … to it
Frozen on the altar …
Paralyzed beyond stir

This one here,
Perhaps, the last of your punches
Blocked the pain … with a band-aid of hope

Extinction of self …
Ashes lost in white spaces

It’s so painful pretending to be asleep now
The drops that fall are tears

Cowered in the corner…
Waiting for the dawn
To wear the smile again

Because it’s me who’s scared of the blue
Because it’s me who’s afraid of the dark…


twitter type

the sky has been playing out its drama again. It is thundering in little bursts. And, the colors mutate from soft romance to glamorous and its overcast, and then of course, it rains. It has been raining every other day since july.

thank you, all for your wishes... there are some zillion things i have been meaning to do and write and not keeping my promise to myself, for now just
some sprinkle on the soul and tomorrow definitely is another day .... my parents coming over! Yay!!

even if they do not understand you, even if there is this huge and cliched generation gap, the umbilical vibes make a huge difference ... mom's nagging and dad's philosophizing does get to you.... but then what was once a fuel for teenage angst... becomes "wow-good-ol-days" feel... esp, when you are in the web of immensely complex and complicated dynamics!

so, yay... mom will cook and dad will talk and both will say that its high time i should get married and that i am loosing weight like no-one's business and nope, telling them that one day ... i might walk the ramp for giorgio armani will not convince them! :)


the day before yesterday

Woke up to a thorny sore throat, clogged sinuses and a headache: the kind that makes everything pale blue. I made ginger and honey tea and still felt fogged.

Today it rained. All day; the kind of steady rain that makes you now restless and now curled up in quilts with a book. Only nothing makes sense.

It was the kind of rain that made me loose all resolve to do anything worthwhile. The sky smudged gray, the ground already full to saturation, stream beds overflowing everywhere. It was a day of incessant wheezing, cold naps and feeling sorry for myself.

I am trying, trying so hard to will myself off the bed and do something useful, around the house or even sketch something, but so far all I can do is sit here feeling like a collection of gooey jelly balls in a paper sack.