a mom is born

when i think of the day Nirvaan was born, all i can think of is how i wanted to get up and run off into the blue.... the operation room is a blur of white and blue and smocked feet and a half moon steel rim blocking the view to my innards being pulled numbly outside. the anaestheologist gently strokes my forehead and places a reassuring hands on my splayed form, i guess, because I cant feel anything. I am shaking but its blurry and i try and sneak a peak in the mirrors of huge operating flood lights looming huge over the bed, but i cant, not properly by any rate ... and suddenly all is in background.. because suddenly i hear my son crying... and theres this acute sense of deja vu and sudden knowledge of completeness, they hold him close to me "see, its a son" and i do say this myself i had not seen such a well formed and a beautiful new born ... white, tiny, familiar and strange... confused and crying am helpless and its wonderful, i smile and my eyes well up, i am full and famished!


1 comment:

Margie said...

You are blessed!
Thank you for sharing!

May 2010 bring much peace, love and joy to your family!