heart - odds and evens

nirvaans becoming needy by the hour, it seems.. playful, energetic and clingy - all rolled into one.and my life post him for a while was just a restful domesticity and then soon, i began to crave to fill the vacuum in my other sphere... sphere that is different than being a wife, a daughter and a Mother!

motherhood is a blessing and like all blessings it has to be earned. earned in a way that single handedly manges to tamper your DNA in a way, a caterpillar changes into butterfly. the only difference? i still remember my pre-Mommy days and recognise, bits and parts of what i was.

all things feminine for me, on this IWD, not that i wait for a designated days to assert me to me, of all the people; inspite of dolloping 365 days on 365 days for 32 times, i remain malleable and do tend to cover the fire inside with all the wet wood.

not your archetypal feminist... not me, thats aiming very low... we are different - men and women, am all for enjoying and celebrating the difference. the day when, celebrating being a woman would not be designated to just 1/365 days... would be the day! oh, i fit right back in my skirt now, yay me!! so thats my celebration!

honestly, i am not a A lister when it comes to relatioships, putting in efforts into maintaining the human bond is not something i handle well... never. i am with you, because i love you; and thats all theres to it. and though i dont call or text, email or attempt anything else, you are there firmly placed in the spot i gave you... the tryin to make efforts to build... complexities and the fibbings and the fidegting, thereafter takes serious toll on me... it did and now am breaking on through to the other side... the side that was always me.

i have made some serious horrendous mistakes and have made some steely strong bonds, beyond the constraints of space and time... heart-mind continumm is such a wonderful thing 

and, i see myself walking, that bit taller, into that ethereal sunrise...  new day, each day... lessons such learnt because of some of these women around me...

gran - i still am unable to get over her, the fact that she wouldnt tell me stories anymore, is yet to sink in... and she is always there, around

mom - NO WORDS!

ma-in-law - this woman is strong, very strong

my kid sister - and yet i look up to her, in so many ways... yea yea, this will go to her head and she would climb that last step at the top... jeez!

preeti di, chane aunty, deepti, nikitha, shachi, prachi,saloni, shaku bai, shobha, priyanka, trupti, chutki, ashwini ... these are such fine women, that one wonders, why is my tribe ever called, weaker??

a part of Me is me... because these women have been a party to creating my island.

men too and Nirvaan, that 5 month old gurgling bundle tops, have had lessons for me, stuff that needed learning has been possible because,

GUYS you have been there or not there or ...
--> you who knows what i really really like without a word,
--> you who knows all that i wish to say even without a word,
--> i call and you know its me,
--> you who has major arguments with me, just because you want to keep talking,
--> you who tells me things like i was school girl....
--> you, who makes my heart race

all of you....and all of this, has made me better as an individual.
at least, i like to pretend that!  :)



Priya said...

Good for you when you have friends who make you stronger and happy always at all times.

starry said...

The joy of motherhood Neers.It makes us strong to and become the person we were meant to be.

Casperbaba said...

naari mukti morcha zindabaad! :)

Long time... So your a mommy finally! congratulations dear. And yes before i forget, Nirvaan is such a beautiful name. share some pictures of your boy! :) gosh seems like ages... Hope life's been treating you good! all my best wishes with you and love to Nirvaan.

Margie said...

It was such a pleasure to read this post, Neers.
You make me smile :)

And, hug that sweet little one of yours for me, please!

Margie :)

Lyrically speaking said...

Yes, it's great to be a mom, when I spoke with my baby girl last night she was telling me how she's working on a book and is on page 38
She's only 11 years old, see how talent runs in the family :) i'm so so proud of her...

- The Virgin Author! said...

Simply written. Made me smile!


Anonymous said...

It's great!!.............................................

Tamanna Mishra said...

Absolutely loved this one... And your son I think must be a rockstar like you two sisters.. :)

Anonymous said...

I love readding, and thanks for your artical...................................................