You are one today!
We are sick, you and I, still so much a part of each other, down with stuffed cold, which makes your brain goes hollow!
A year just waved a goodbye and its perhaps been the most eventful year of my entire 32 years on the planet! Watching you grow from a milk like divine-ness to wet-small, big eyed to the little devil you are turning into; has been most satisfying!
You become a mother, your DNA mutates. Your soul literally jumps out and is now trying to maneuver the walker like a bike! (guy, already!!)
And, every time i think of the moment I gave birth, there's this transcendental quality to it, beyond numbness and beyond pain, sort of surreal... and i slowly blink, bam, you are ONE!
Watching you everyday for first 90 days where it looked like a sinking investment... you keep working and loving and all you get back is loads of dirty laundry... to next 9 months, where every week was like a milestone, now you look at me, now you smile, now you hold your head and curl your fingers, now you giggle and hey, thats the first tooth and excuse me, i can talk "mummmma"
As a confession: this last year, i almost always tethered on the cusp of black-hole depression, they have a fancy name for it - postpartum, but i belief its just the mind's rebellion against the lost energy synch! You, saved me!
And, on this day as a pledge to you, who makes me strive towards the best in me: You can count on me... like you do now, always! i do not promise to give you the best of everything out there... i could try, but i do not promise! what i do know, in my very marrow... is that i would never love any other soul as much as i love you!
your presence has taught me a new way to living. patience and a new take on things... NOW is what matters!
you are intense and you are gleeful, already we see you staring into space, lost in your thoughts and the very next moment, the perfect infant crankiness... contradiction of sorts! you are cute and you are a rascal, you want to be picked up all the time, sometimes and other times, you want to be left alone. you are this and you are that... above all, you are beautiful!
a very happy birthday, darling!