last of the decade

A silent goodbye to a bridge year. A transcedental staircase, if you will.
A year of navel gazing and seeking the universe.
A year of understanding the importance of little things, every moment and coming to terms with irrelevance of it all.
A year of being honest, hurtful and et al!
A year of being quiet and ranting and then quiet again. Peace at last!
A fruitful year!  
Adieu, Oh Ten!

Dear Calendar, bring on 2011 now! 
365 ways of defining my days.

Copyright © Neerja Yadav

dreams of new york

oft late, theres this overpowering urge to move to new york
and yea as cliched as it sounds, i figured this isn't for any cliched reasons at all
especially with the unfeasiblity of even the thought!! the place am right now, the denseness and the unsettled entwined so intricately together and am unravelling them one knot at a time... that yep, even the idea of a simple travel from one city to another sounds unsurmountable... "no, can do!" 

and like a flash and bolt from the blue, only its more a nudge, a nagging from the blue... i have this... "move to new york!" and yes, i love united states for what it is... and yes, i have enjoyed all my stops and stay there... but it never did figure into my scheme of things... things one calls life, while what we are exactly doing daily... is it really life? is it really living? 

another thing, that keeps me pre-occupied oft late... living! i guess i am... not a 100% yet... but i have begun... i de-wire as soon and as much as possible... i am reading books and watching movies like am on a mission...

and i even went to an extent of a tiny makeover of sorts! i play with my son, i cook(!!!) yep... gourmet dinners at that... !!  i make small talks with my neighbors (this definitely is a first with me!) i was almost most anti-social person i personally knew! :)  so, thats like a star for me! 

so, i need, (see... how it already changed to a need??) to move to new york, for all it has to offer... in terms of culture and expansion of mind and for being on the cusp of mundane and magic... the co-existence of nouveau-art and old-world, the tabloids and the literature as true blue as they come... its mumbai, only better!

and i have no idea, how and when and what should i do to get this ticked off my "to-do"... not that its on "to-do"... i have no idea from adam (or eve or whatever), all i know is i should, i have to... and perhaps i will! 

i guess i will! maybe soon.... maybe this is destiny becknoning! ah... am such a chick flick kinda chick!! :) serendipity, y'all!

Copyright © Neerja Yadav

p.s: i took off the comments because of some stupid trolling and hurtful things flung across my way, for those of you, who come by.... thank you, folks! write to me, if you really wish to talk. for the trolls: this is my space, isnt it? and not put up for your pleasure, so, shut up!

1000 to 0 MPH - M theory - my version

commas and ellipses
and you never finish anything
whats with the un-finished ayway?
nonexistent nothing
the uncertainity of ambiguity
the unsent letters
and thought-riding sentences
i should perhaps fill, bags with pencils and pictures
crayons and broken mirrors
toy cars and balloons
things that are real... 

Copyright © Neerja Yadav

life list

i have been dodging showing up here, things have been tumbling more through the rabbit hole than the looking glass...

for the first time in weeks, i feel i can breathe and then some and something which i have been procrastinating for 1000 years is now done... 

this a lucid list, in no particular order... 36 things which i would do before i say "so long and thank you for all the fish!" :) 


1.    Write and publish a book.
2.    Take a road trip across the US in a camper
3.     Live in Greece for a year.
4.    Learn French.
5.     Learn to ballet dance.
6.     Grow a garden
7.     Build my own dark room/ studio
8.     Make a film .
9.     Take photographs daily for a year.
10.   Write regularly for a magazine/newspaper.
11.   Buy a potters wheel & kiln and throw pots in the garage.
12.   Teach literature.
13.  Own a farm house/barn in a village to sneak away to.
14.   Meditate.
15.   Learn archery & join a archery club.
16.   Take a trip to South America.
17.   Travel somewhere every year.
18.   Grow a rose garden.
19.   See the northern lights.
20.   Backpack across Europe with my son
21.   Go camping every summer.
22.   See the election of Pope in Vatican.
23.   Visit Prague
24.   Renovate the apartment completely.
25.   Have a Cozy Family room.
26.   Have a library at home
27.   Own books and kitsch shop.
28.   Adopt a baby girl
29.   Learn to drive
30.   Learn to bake.
31.   Make small investments for Nirvaan
32.  Spend a winter in Tibet meditating.
33.  See a Le Reve performance in Wynn Resort
34.  Take the entire family out for vacation
35.  Attend Venice film festival
36.  Work in New York  for McKinsey


Copyright © Neerja Yadav