no dreams, no nights ... not alive?

(via nidhi)







unsigned serenity, extreme euphoria, discarded words, lost thoughts, 
whispered dreams, frozen stars, 
fallen books, 
lonely ghosts,

age-old-stifled-giggles-now-just-scrunched-pillowcases, 
songbirds-in-ribcages,
not-to-be-forgotten-forgotten-to-dos!!

That is 2 AM
 
 
Copyright © Neerja Yadav

twenty months ... soon it'll be years!

i hum to him in the dark or talk about meows and fairies and as he gets sleepier he gets chattier slowly drifting into mumbling and little pixie snores. he sleeps like a prayer.

its morning and he is 20 months! already! 


and just like that, you bid goodbye to babyhood. "byee.... tatasss" perfect syllables pronounced perfectly. a whole new ever increasing list of things:  aiming for the potty, three word sentences, chasing games and copying everything anyone says or does.

this month you’ve gained weight and grown taller.  You reach for things above you anywhere and say "de de..."  favourite parody of course is "mumma"

you love tomatoes and always want more, if you fall... you get up and simply say "mumma, baby fell"  you love to  say "oh shit (aww shooot..) in that lisping accented voice, because it always makes me laugh.  you love running fast, your arms akimbo, two little feet hardly co-ordinated, the wind blowing in your hair.

and this month, you have also become obviously affectionate. you give hugs and kisshies and look into my eyes and are amazed at finding your reflection there. "mumma, eyes... babysss!" and a belly laugh!

books (prentension of reading and then sneak a bite), music (sufi movements on the rhythm) candies (strawberries), your blue and red car and bath time are some of your favourites.

And, yes, you do throw perfect temper tantrums, melting to the floor, and wailing when you want or don’t want to do something.  You know how to shed gigantic crocodile tears.
But you also know when I mean business, and you listen. And, yet independant like hell, you always test limits, push boundaries and wait for reactions.

You love to laugh. And somehow, remarkably, you are VERY OBSERVANT.

how this time is so perfect and fleeting, how you’ll be a teenager in an instant,  and I’ll be so much farther on my path. And sometimes I grin with anticipation. Even when there isn’t enough time to pause, or linger for but a moment. 




its lot of work and lot of rewards, being your mom! 


Copyright © Neerja Yadav

"may the fourth be with you"



I did a little music today, my first in ages, my feet happy and mood in smiles. It was a small, micro slice of euphoria: those few minutes and me. This and acoustics of GNR, Oasis and Scorpions.... ah heaven!


{via www}

 
I reactivated myself on fB... this is the thing about showing up at the page. Life is tender and fickle, like when the thermometer creeps up and the buds swell and then slowly balmy evenings give way to sweltering afternoons from one to another day.


life happens when you are really not looking, filtering through walls like parantheses.



Copyright © Neerja Yadav