his ever-present absence

Eric Hu's girl in the field
Am I just imagining the blood dripping off my fingers? 
You could just pretend that you don’t see me, my paling face, and my desperate dark eyes. 

I stare out the window at the wild landscape. 
The wind whips the trees into a frenzied dance. Shutters clap against the house.

I don’t want you to hold my hands, because then you’d know how clammy they are.

I am filled with silence. A throbbing silence that wants to scream…

On my wish-ponies you stroke my hair.

In my unicorn-heart, you are love


Why does it always come back to you?
 
You’re standing right here looking at me. I can’t look at you. It wouldn’t be… fair?
I close my eyes. Memories come flooding, that melt my heart! But not my resolve! Silence!
Then I hear you leave. Was this the last time?

I can only watch your retreating back through the window’s rain-soaked glass. Through the glass you look blurred; I stand and gaze out the window. Half-wishing you would appear again. After a while, I turn away. Then  I notice… a piece of paper on the floor.

Empty sheet!

Copyright © Neerja Yadav

2 comments:

Φ said...

Poignant.

Margie said...

* In my unicorn-heart, you are love

Neers, so love those words!