“MAMA, not working!” he yells, eyes close, face upturned. “MAMA!”
The way he does when he can’t get anything done all on his own…
I run, help him with whatever he is trying and cup his soft warm cheeks in my hand and give that instinctive kiss.
“Thank you Mama.” He says this small exclamation of gratitude something secondary to his nature. He grins as I kiss face, and returns happily to playing.
This is what being FOUR looks like.
Lego blocks strewn all over the floor. A huge pail of water to be splashed and wash everything with. All the living room walls a glimpse of modern art. Half eaten chocolate bars, a bag of wafers - a completely unsanctioned snack. And bunch of new words and emotions strung together to make grown-up sounding sentences with!
Every now and then a midst my work, I stop and look at him; this baby of mine, and individual now… and can’t help but marvel… at life, at myself and the way this 3 feet something human has become the artist of my life!
This is the boy/baby who wants to do everything with “Me trying…!” and then also wants to be picked up like a baby!
Sometimes all his tantrums and stubbornness is fine and I am patience personified while other evenings, when I am worn thin after a hard day at work and pick him up from his daycare; and his strong little body is all over the place and I have to set him firmly and he begins to pout and cry… and I know the bittersweet of parenting has only just begun!
Life in its very elementary format teaches you the tenets of philosophies all over the world. The present is what it is all about! Parenting does exactly that! You do not expect or second guess anything; you literally just go by the flow, adjusting course, rolling with waves et al.
The world narrows so much when you’re in the thick of mothering in the first years—-when your kids are small, and then suddenly the aperture shifts, and they’re chest high and learning to read; doing tricks with their bikes, running, skinning, talking, making up their minds.
Best decision ever: to have him. This fullness and grace of life that I have been granted!
You can hear it: the way autumn is all celebratory. The sky knows and so does the wind. And also, the air is cooler at night, and we close the windows part-way now, and we tuck in bed together wrapped up still like extension of each other and wake up to his slobbery kisses, my hair mussed, my head full of dreams.
September ended and I woke up to brilliant October skies. My favorite time after spring. Just adequately balanced; adequately romantic. Late bedtimes + favorite Pocoyo videos. Books and wine after dinner. Music. Lots of it.
And, September ended and almost time when I stop calling my baby, ‘my baby’
Happy Happy Birthday, Mumma Mi’s Handsome!
Copyright © Neerja Yadav