hope or something like that

its end of April - 4 months just strolled away and i haven't gotten anywhere near to smoothen the creases of my everyday life - i get up - having NOT slept enough - i force my mind to switch the day mode - activate the energy and go about the days like an automaton... 

i HAVE decluttered a lot however and yet some days i already feel like "cat lady" only i don't have cats or any form of four legged pets - i do have a pair of love birds and lots of plants and well a 8 year old - who is so GEEKY some days i suspect he is a secret ANONYMOUS member 

i live with my mom (see, how am not saying she lives with me? because respect people!) 
i would love to say am "co-parenting" with my mom or some such syrupy version of the truth and the truth is she always wants to run away - BECAUSE well she never did parent us so much - am sure this is frustrating for her ... I DO LOVE HER SO... 

i have made fair amount of mistakes, error in judgements in my life - i try and avoid the same one twice - am too many things, ineffective isn't one of them

i have been dreaming of a man a lot these days - he is always being awfully nice and in love with me - shame can't see his face to fixate on any of the potentials of the waking hours... 

some day, people, some day ... there still is hope! 

am not even "netflixing" any more - am back to obsessive reading - finishing a book a day... what's to become of me... 

this isn't despair, not yet... like i said... there still is hope! 


Copyright©Neerja Yadav



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