i began this post a while ago and then abandoned it... just because he walked in, looked at me... couldn't decide to be upset or elated.. wished me birthday, held me close... asked me if i was fine... and then left again... the honey brown eyes... saying exactly opposite of what the words were... 

and i went back to do what i do best... pick up the 100th book and read... obsessively 

 "The best moments in reading are when you come across something - a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things - which you had thought special and particular to you. And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours" ~ History Boys

And just like that moments from years, moments from the year old heartbreak and moments from getting back together, crash and collide ... intertwine and we look at each other and smile.. and it's enough, because we are friends first...

the fights don't matter, the walking away doesn't matter either, the love story keeps re-writing itself and we configure ourselves with the narrative

yes, we were in and out of this sine wave called - love - and yes, we almost lost each other to this static called ego ... and yet, the thread that seems fragile ... like a flutter of life, is not... just hunger or something deeper?

the before and after looks like a continuity doesn't it? Amen!

Shall sleep now... after almost a year

Copyright © Neerja Yadav

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