La Vie

Life has a way of stopping you and also getting you to run. Amidst all the best-laid plans – it sneaks up on you.

A month of back-to-back days; without a minute to collect breath – there have been hurriedly written journal entries or notes scrawled in the margins during meetings.

I come back tired these days. Amidst the teeming madness of a big city life – finding the quiet for the core can be a task, sometimes.  So, back in the apartment where the stereo croons something soft changing tempo to imagine dragons to ‘80s disco and back to alternative. My playlist like my friends and living too, is eclectic. I cook – I try and write – I devour books or binge Netflix. Or simply just let the being float in vacuum.

I don’t get much sleep – but that’s always been de rigueur much like my denims and white tee – in dreams where ideas take shape and things are woolly soft or where the anger gets amplified – a narrative happens. A twisted messy glorious pretty narrative. And just like that the ideas begin to converge like iron filings in a slow motion drag to magnet.

Despite myself, the default of curling up with a book, last weekend – went out for a dinner with a set of funny brilliant women. M who is kickass and warm; to be honest she used to intimidate me and then I figured she is a choco-lava cake! ‘A’ who is so full of life – the practical and the practiced too – she could easily be an elder sister, partner in crime and then we have another 'A' who makes you laugh so hard you weep/pee your pants with her straight face anecdotes.

Then took a mid week break to walk down a promenade – watching the sea and feeling the ‘mistral’ blowing through a sunny day. A stroll through a near empty huge shopping mall – catching up on the woman superhero – much slicker than superman could ever hope to be; Captain Marvel! A much needed break to balance out the craziness the human systems become.

I took my notebook with me. And, what I remember is the heat of an azure blue sky and the wind turning up the brolly upside down. The huge warm amber chandeliers and mustard laden burger from shake and shack.

To paraphrase Max Ehrman – Despite all the mess – it’s a beautiful planet!

What I miss is the sweetness of my baby. His fingers; in mine, and his smell – which still carries a hint of the baby boy.

What I remember is this: to show up and show up with the intention. There. Done. The beginning is here.

Copyright © Neerja Yadav