Walking on the Rainbow
I walk on rainbows every morning to get to work...
morning sun filtering through the high ceilinged glass windows of my neighbourhood shopping mall; creates a chessboard rainbows
field of dandelions - millions of wishes right there;
on my morning runs in the hills, statistically speaking,
one of them could come true or so lives my hope.
the same one that Emily' called thing with feathers.. but you know what,
I think, it's is not just feathery, it's also my son trudging over to my room for cuddles before school
it's also these one-liner emails from my boss which feel like a language of our own camaraderie
It's long chats with my sister, brimming with anecdotes of our children and giggly nonsense
it's sending weird memes and insta posts to your best friend because only they will get
it's an afternoon lunch by yourself and meeting the eye of a stranger with a smile so wide, it feels like a grin
And, it's definitely, the trek from the dark alley way of my dark despairing mind
to a slow zoom in onto a dimly lit piazza of romance...
romance of existence - everything can be a slow fade k-dramaseque pretty,
even investment banking... a shimmering testament to the fact that
love, longing and the restlessness of the human heart
is the catalyst of hope
Copyright©Nee
Chasing Fireflies
One, two, three, four, five, nine... and now thirteen” - all I did was, blink...
And just like that, I can feel the way things are changing. His boyhood and with it an entire chapter of parenthood (insert a hood joke here) was a solid colour, different shades but the same solid colour. Now, comes the splintered spectrum, various frequencies and wavelengths colliding, converging, diverging. Am already witnessing it - now a sweet giggly child, now a 'disgusting' teen boy, now a glimpse of a man he is becoming and a peek into that beautiful complex mind of his.
This separation, of his personhood; it's a complex terrain of emotions. There is getting to know this person he is becoming, beaming-faced, hilarious, sensitive, full of empathy, resilient and above all a man with integrity.
Parents Teachers Conferences are a delight and so is watching him throw himself into whatever he chooses to do with full gusto. Being an elder brother to baby cousins or a digital artist or prepping for student council meeting as it's President
It’s not something I expected or even considered: That it would feel this way to be here, at the other side of boyhood: Bittersweet. The kid with hair in his eyes, monkeying around the house on a self confessed no-sugar sugar high slowly metamorphosing into this beautiful teen - slightly vain, lots of cheekiness.
The world narrows so much when you’re in the thick of parenting in the first decade and then suddenly the aperture shifts, and they're taller than you - talking about climate change and planning parties in the same breath.
How to do this gracefully?
This part where I try to stop calling my baby “my baby?” Because "am not a baby any more, Mummy!"
My love,
I am in awe today as I look at you, a boy who is closer to being a man I have not met than to being the baby with head full of raven hair and eyes so wide and toothy grins. It is impossible to record all of those memories, all of the milestones and parties and vacations, the field trips and sporting events and spontaneous funny things that you have said. But you should know that those memories are like jewels to me. They are gems stored away in the treasure chest of my mind. You my love, are your own wonderful blessing. The fact that the Universe chose to make you my legacy, is a cherry on the top!
This day, when you enter the ages you've always wanted to be in. Wrapping up all that we talk about in a few tenets, the touchstones to chart the course of your life with:
- Be the kind, generous, respectful person you are
- Trust yourself, your gut, your intuition
- Live in the now and Make mistakes - there's strength in learning from them
- Work Hard - there's no substitute for it
- Play Hard - there's no substitute for it
- Know when to lead, when to follow - find your voice and help those who are ready to find theirs - you will know when, trust your gut
- If they make you better - they are for you.
- If it makes you better - it is for you. The barometer for everything is - does it make you feel good about yourself
- Your words matter
- Your dreams matter and working for them define your destiny
- All emotions are part of you - it's good to feel, the price of living a full life is to get hurt, get up and live again. You always have a choice!
- Put the phone down - connect in-person
- Above All - Know that you are LOVED and Cherished Always!
Happy Birthday, Jana!
Love, Mummy!
When Sleep Fails
There’s always a story, outside my window
different ones though, from the bedroom and the living room
I bet the sky doesn’t know
It’s my couch and my plants
Or the sleepless nights
in the audience
nor does the water
The rhetoric mutates …
Both the fairy lights lit boat and the commuter ferry
switch characters, on cue with ease
The stories abound.. multitudes, textured, iridescent, flirtatious
Copyright©Nee
Once Upon A Time...
there's a moment before the colours set on the canvas,
before you press "Send"
before he leans in for the kiss
before the alarm chimes you out of sleep
before she steps off the cliff
The letter might still be left on the desk, unsent
The hand held back by the elbow,
the word kept between the larynx pulse
Yet something slips through
looks around,
sets course for the new horizons,
for unexplored lands
Not fateful, neither momentous
Simply changed
there's perhaps a flight in that dive
or love of your life in that breadth
perhaps the best email you sent
or the masterpiece you create
Copyright©Nee
Submarine Subways
 |
dappled with filtering gold
the inanimate in the car seem
happier than the blank tired faces
of morning commuters
giant neon signs and the glossy faces
on the subway walls
faintly echo of words
of a cardboard crowned prophets
‘the end seems nigh’ …
behind the skincare and crypto curtains
at times the warnings of Armageddon
sneaks it’s way through the Spotify lists
Blink and miss - go on your merry way
there are better submarines to submerge …
Copyright©Nee
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