And just like that, end of Day 1 of this year! The cliches' all hold true - one moment you are 14 next you are 40! one moment it was a beginning of an idea - next moment, you are on the other side of the rainbow or fire. Each with a grace of it's own.
This year strolled in, slowly, calmly, with a practiced nonchalant ease of an old soul. And although I don't know how each day will turn out, I do know that - I have an intention. Of configuring the algorithm of next 366 days with grace and grit; of joy and calm; of just finding the unity of now - each moment; every moment.
And, sure - there would be days of undone laundry and piled up work and barely making deadlines and half caught sleep and unwashed hair and annoyance enveloping the air.
But I do know that the only way to the rainbow and beyond; will be through these rainclouds.
I know the hours will each be double booked, saturated with To-Dos. Precarious and precious.
And I'm humbled. By it all. The process. By being here again, at the outset, new to the particular set of opportunities and evolutions to come.
Life is asking for new definitions and capabilities and with that am cultivating the ability to adapt to bigger constructs; and to see time, and speed, and distance, and success as new non-linear relatives.
And, I will no more be besties with Guilt. Breaking up with this treacherous, gas lighter of a lover. The self which literally mines the moments for Guilt. It has been the primary emotion for as long as I can remember. The guilt of NOTs. Not spending enough time with my boy. Not studying enough. Not sleeping enough. Not exercising enough. Not doing enough at work and outside. Not socialising enough. Not being ENOUGH. ENOUGH, already!
But, this: I have SPELT intentions into the word of the Year: iNvest
Life is being altered by my expectations for myself; by the weather being whimsical; by the world traipsing the shades of grey; by the sleep time piano scores to commute time EDMs; by poetry writing heart of mine swimming in throes of hedging assets; by beauty of technology layered with potentials of a landmine.
All of this and more and yet I carry on. We all carry on.
Laughing, Loving, Fighting, Falling, Flying, Making it to another Year...
So, I will continue to INVEST my soul into my boy, my work, my writing, my adventures, my friends, my family and me. Each moment. Every Moment... till I proudly collect some more laugh lines and greys. Battle Scars and a Badge of honor.
The honor and privilege of having lived. A full life...
Copyright©Nee